Zoom Out!

In a few seconds, I will ask that you close your eyes but first let me create the scenario. Jeff and William are at a restaurant discussing an issue that Jeff has. Jeff tells William something that William intensely disagrees with. He tries to explain to Jeff why he has an issue with that, but Jeff does not listen and walks away. Now close your eyes and imagine yourself in this scenario. Who were you in this scenario? Were you Jeff or William? Why did you identify with that character? I want to discuss perspectives.

As a reader, you are able to look at this scenario on the outside and have an idea of each side but if you are Jeff or William then emotions are involved, their emotions. Emotions have a tendency to block out sensible decisions and actions. People, for the most part, dislike negative emotions so when put in a situation where someone causes you to have a negative emotion; you want to dislike that person, stand up for yourself, and/or plot a revenge.

Looking on the outside, you are aware that there are two different people in this situation. People that may be from a different background, who were raised differently, and have different goals and views. Though they might view a situation positively or negatively, the reason behind that may be different. That reason is important to learning who a person is and how they think.

I am speaking based on my own actions in the past of how I expect people to do/say things based on what I would do if I were in their situation. I have felt wronged by others but never zoomed out to evaluate if I did wrong, if I did not communicate effectively of what I wanted. This is not saying that the other person was not wrong but that I do not want to look back and think that I stopped being myself because of someone else’s flaws. Blocking people out of my life has been a regular thing for me in the past few years and before that it was just letting things go; both were not effective for me. Letting things go, letting people go are necessary to growth as a person but so is problem solving. It is important for people to learn what circumstance calls for what act.

As a call to action, next time someone negatively affects you and you want to reciprocate that feeling, zoom out. Take yourself out of the situation and ask what that person is thinking and why are they thinking that way/why do they feel that way. Although it is much easier to walk away or let it go, take the moment as a learning experience of a different perspective of life. If you strongly disagree with communicating with that person then why do you feel that way? Why do you feel that communicating your emotions a problem? What forms your perspective?

#perspective #growth #adulthood